This ted talk once scared me.I looked back at my 20’s and realized I hadn’t worked on my adult ME in my 20’s at all.I didn’t focus on relationships,a career,finishing University(just starting and quitting),settling down,saving money for real estate etc.I did not claim my 20’s.I was focused on myself and on pleasures.I was a hedonist.
With all this,I still don’t think that my 20’s were a waste of time.I do feel ready to claim my adulthood now in my own way,or at least start.Maybe it’s my 30th birthday or my life experience,but I feel ready to focus on serious things now.Still not in a traditional way according to the rules of society,but in my way.I feel I’ve grown emotionally,spiritually as a woman and human being.I feel I am getting to know myself better now-my needs,values,identity,priorities etc.And actually I still don’t need that career,University degree,to settle down,have a house.
What did change, is my perspective on relationships.I don’t think they are the worst thing that could happen to you,anymore.However,as always,I am not going to settle for having whomever.I learned I can give a lot to someone,but I need that person to give as well.I will always give my all,but I will stop if I don’t get the same.
I also focus on my free time(although I did this most of the time in life).I try not to waste my time on Earth.I want to be creative and active.I will not put work first,but time for myself.With age I become more confident with what I feel is good for me.I like to spend time with people who I love and who love me.I’ll choose people over work anytime.I learned that I have such small needs,that I can live the way I want to.
I also got inspired to treat myself well.Treat myself,as if I am my own child.Today I started my process of quitting smoking:)I will be more careful about what I eat and be more active physically.I will choose my entertainments wisely and creatively.
With all this I will keep my inner child,my spontaneity and curiosity.That doesn’t mean that I can’t be mature.So,although I still don’t feel I am claiming my 30’s according to psychologist Meg Jay,I am doing what I feel is right according to me,not society.It’s never too late to start a career,finish University,get a flat etc.But it could be too late to travel the world with your backpack,live in different countries,test out possibilities of living free from the corporate world,making lots of breaks from responsibilities to travel,work on meaningful relationships,work on becoming a valuable person,get inspirations from books,films,people etc.Later,you can find a place you like,settle down and find a way to live happily there.
I still haven’t found my place on Earth.Maybe I will find it in a person.Until then,I will continue to self-develop,mature,self-reflect and enjoy my time here,as I have just one life and as Mae West said “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”